what you see may not be what you get

east coast for cylcing then pool. the sun was CRAZY. some left and some joined for dinner at marina square. we had teppanyaki, the place is called yaki dont know what. so it was all okay and towards the end, it ended on a bad note. at least for me. but i hope they were not affected by me.

wilson was being sucha pest. i shouldnt have said bye to him when i came outta the toilet. he tagged along and pulled my bag refusing to let me leave. "what happened, what happened?!" and wtf my tears were still rolling and even more profusely. in the end, he sent me to the cab. thanks boy!

in the cab, the driver was so nice. like i was crying like fcuk and he was like "you're having flu?"(in chinese) and i said ya. he told me there was a box of tissue behind and lowered the air con. what a sweet taxi driver. i grabbed a stack of it and hope he didnt realise or just think that i accidentally took too many and it wouldnt be nice to put it back.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.

you know i may seem like one crazy woman that doesnt care about anything but you are so wrong. i've been putting up with all the insults and condemns cuz i just didnt wanna ruin the day and make everyone in a difficult position. that didnt mean that i accept it and it didnt bother me AT ALL, it also didnt mean that you can rattle on and on about it. i dont wanna be seen as someone petty, but it just came to a point where i could not tolerate any longer and i just broke down. and wtf you didnt even realise what you have done. that was more pissing okay. i felt totally unrespected and insignificant. maybe i was. guys nowadays should really learn to be more sensitive and know their limits in whatever they say or do. even though it was all meant to be a joke, but i reckon you should have known what is sensitive to a girl. so fine, i'm FAT. do you think by always saying it i'll become as thin as you guys like a skeleton? i think i'm better off dead thank you. maybe you have something against me but you didnt have to put me down in front of the whole group and make me feel unworthy. doesnt mean one friend accept that side of you everyone you meet will. how would you feel if you were me? why not you go do some experiment with the girls around you who are WIDER than you, i dont wanna mention names, and see how they'll feel. maybe the conclusion you get is that I AM PETTY and UN-JOKE-ABLE.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.

ah wtf, i dont know why the hell i'm so bloody affected by what someone said. but as faiz said, maybe it's a good time to really cry all out after so much has happened if it really is gonna make me feel better. i'm glad things are starting to get better and looking brighter. LOVE;

and thanks joey sweets for being there and called immediately when i msged her i was tearing in the public although i rejected her call. =DDD i was just afraid my tearing will turn into crying out loud and it's obviously not a very nice sight. LOVE;